Do you remember that unforgettable scene in Jerry Maguire where he said, “you… complete me?” Do you ever wish you had a spouse, significant other or best friend who said things like that? Isn’t it normal for us to desire that intimacy and deep connection with others?
And aren’t we constantly surrounded by expectations, photos and posts that clearly tell us that other people have that perfect picture and we want it too?!?! You know what I’m talking about? – It’s the picture perfect marriage. – The Christmas letter poetically penned of model children. – Parents and siblings who are “best friends” and do everything together. We see all these relationships thrown in our faces as if to say we are failing somehow! As if to show us that we aren’t enough, they aren’t enough or we don’t have enough!!! Everybody else has what we want!!! Have you ever felt like that?
But most, at best, are ideal snapshots; filtered, posed and seemingly pieces of perfection. We want that sense of wholeness, completeness in our relationships. Completely loved. Completely understood. Completely accepted. Wanted. Chosen. Pursued even! And for all our desires to be met- whatever they may be!
You… complete me.
Jerry Maguire
I asked God about Dan, my husband, one day. Why don’t we have those deep conversations about all the thoughts that run through my head? Why don’t…
And God said – I did not give you him, for that reason.
I asked God about other people. Why don’t we have a close relationship? And I got the same answer each time. – I didn’t give you her for that reason, or him for that reason.
Then God said – because any one person, cannot BE your EVERYTHING – that place is reserved for ME.
To be clear my husband has always been my biggest supporter and supportive of my ideas, wants, of me in every way. But the one thing Dan is NOT … he’s not my “girlfriend!” He’s a man of few words. But I can enjoy and celebrate what we do have together and NOT need to make him be my everything.
But all this reasoning has left me with some questions. WHY did you give me “her?” WHY did you give me “him?” What is the purpose for this person in my life, or me in theirs? Ultimately wouldn’t God say that relationships are to bring us… closer to Him? So if its a wonderful relationship- wouldn’t it bring us closer to God?
And where has God supplied someone else in my life, to meet the needs that I had hoped for, but did not get where I expected? Isn’t that all from Him?
There is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some people come into your life to test you, some to teach you, some to use you, and some to bring out the very best in you.
Lessons Taught By Life
But the only one who makes us complete… is Jesus Christ.
And in Him you have been made complete (achieving spiritual stature through Christ), and He is the head over all rule and authority (of every angelic and earthly power).
Colossians 2:10 AMP
Putting expectations on people in our lives to fill our ever need is futile. We need to change our perspective of identifying why they are in our lives and why we are in theirs.
What expectations do you need to let go of? Who do you need to let off the hook?
I am thankful for our differences. I am thankful that Dan doesn’t check ALL the boxes – because then I wound have no need for all my girlfriends! And I wouldn’t know or have any need for God! We are made for relationship, but at the core we are human and cannot complete each other.
So sorry, Jerry Maguire- it is humanly impossible, but all the ladies hoped it would have been true! lol If nothing else, you got your girl with that line!
God Bless your relationships, and may they bring you closer to God!
