Have you ever just been so angry you can’t see straight? People behaving badly. Others causing pain and suffering? Yeah? Me too! This is my process of journaling through the pain and eventually getting to a better place; the place where Christ resides. Enjoy!
My Animosity is Killing Me aka Christ’s Reflection By Laurie Krawchuk
I can’t take it, I can’t breathe my animosity has got the best of me. It’s not right it’s not fair people hurting people everywhere. I can’t stand it, I don’t support it, If it were me I would abort it. People making choices that keep them in their pain Woe to the one who makes a selfish gain They won’t do it, do what’s right They won’t make the sacrifice Though it’s right, they don’t care Because it’s hard and they can’t bear To be the grown-up in this choice They make excuses, say NO, in an absurd voice In their world it’s OK Because they look the other way The mirror clearly shows The target on their nose They won’t look - it’s too painful What did they do, it’s much too shameful On the outside they may look nice Then you’ll get to know them and think twice Especially if you give them any advice They know better in their own device That’s how they got there to their demise In their ignorance they panic Blame you and you and you in their frantic They can’t believe it could ever be them The one that’s caused all of this mayhem How did they get here? Where did they start? Was it a broken spirit or broken heart? What have they heard? What have they seen? What have they lived, and wished it was just a bad dream? Was there drinking? Was there drugs? Abuse and cussing, without any hugs? Where was love? Where did it go? How come I’m not good enough to love-I don’t know? So now this pain has turned to fear Anger, frustration, selfishness, it’s clear Incompetent, ignorant, and misguided I suppose Broken spirit or heart I can’t oppose Still they’re wrong, it hurts, and I have no authority To make anyone change or give God superiority Some stay in their misery because it’s what they know Others run away to the streets they’ll go Wandering helpless unable to see the light To make a change and do what’s right I have a choice Lord help me make it Don’t let me blow it or else I’ll break it LORD, help me to see and give me understanding The perpetrator was a victim at someone else’s branding The sin is a pattern that started long ago By Adam and Eve in the garden I’m told so This cycle is consuming, depleting, bringing death Exhausting, hurtful bringing much unrest What can be done? How do you and I end it? It’s a choice, it’s a Savior, a daily surrender it. The Lord is completely aware of every heart Every promise, every misstep to make a new start He holds all the cards but this is not a game He’s our Magnificent Creator with a Holy name He’s sad at the pain, he holds every tear He rescues and heals exchanges love in place of fear The Lord is my refuge, it’s not my place to save It’s given freely from a savior and the life that he gave The Lord is my hope and their hope too I learned it from someone I once knew I’m not in charge of others mistakes For mine I must repent, and my heart must break Where once I felt helpless, frustrated and discouraged The LORD shows me mercy, grace, and courage Don’t misunderstand me-sin has a consequence For me, for you, and Him there is much evidence As for my animosity I’m casting it aside To reflect Christ’s mercy that’s where I will reside It’s not for me and you to hold the keys of broken-hearted Or to open up the lock of the mess that they have started We have our own lock and God holds the keys We come before him repentant, confessing on our knees It’s for us to give encouragement the gospel we should spread Preach love instead of fear and Life instead of death.
